Toupee, Or Not Toupee

February 22, 2015  •  Leave a Comment

 Toupee, or not toupee, that is the question -

 Whether 'tis nobblier on the bonce with plugs,
 To crown the cranium with an outrageous rug, 
 Or to take ointments 'gainst the curse of slaphead
 And by anointing end it ? To dye, to streak,
 No more; and with a wig to make amend
 For thinning of a thousand natural locks
 That make a hair-do? 'Tis a flocculation
 Devoutly to be swished. To dye, to streak,
 To streak, perchance Brylcreem. Ay, there's the rub. 
 
This improves on Shakespeare's :
 
To be, or not to be, that is the question—
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing, end them? To die, to sleep—
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The Heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks
That Flesh is heir to? 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep,
To sleep, perchance to Dream; Aye, there's the rub.

 


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