"Football" v soccer

January 14, 2014  •  Leave a Comment

"...soccer is a Euro-commie-socialist sport"

Rebuttal:

Effete soccer players like moi enjoy this affectation that soccer is unAmerican and wussyworthy.  
1. Soccer's the #1 participation sport in the US;
1a. it occurs to me that the US is the #1 soccer-playing nation on earth by numbers and that your society has been overrun by us soccer zombies; 
2. Man U and Liverpool are American businesses;
3. "football" is about the most wussified, gay piece of anaerobic prancing around in body-armour that a pansy fashion designer could dream up;
4. the NFL is heavily subsidized by your commie governments, while UK pro soccer is a free market business;
5. for God's sake, there's just no comparison between the masculinity of rugby and "football”. Rugby v football = cauliflower ears v cauliflower brains.
 
Can you hear me under your helmet? Can you see me thru the visors and pompoms? Oh, you don't actually play "football"? Pourquoi? Anyway when I drive around Houston or New York or New Jersey, I see mostly soccer pitches, except in some schools where the football pitches are heavily subscribed by middle aged men like me playing soccer despite the weird pitch markings. 
 
Look, hate soccer if it helps you feel virile ogling cheerleaders on tv with your beer on your belly, but check out rugby if you prefer a flowing battle of unarmored men of various sizes to a sporadic clash of prettied-up, cookie-cutter robots who need new instructions and a cuddle every 15 seconds.

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